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This is an international website intended to remain accessible to as many people as possible. The opinions expressed here are those of the individual posters who remain solely responsible for the content of their messages.
The use of good judgement during the discussion of controversial issues would be greatly appreciated.

Break Room (Swine Flu Respite)

by: Into The Woods

Mon Apr 27, 2009 at 16:24:28 PM EDT


So, feeling a little bit stressed?  A bit jittery?  Feeling a bit distracted or frozen just when you want to feel focussed and effective?

For those that are new to this kind of pressure cooker.

For those that have been around here since dirt was invented.

For those that are feeling totally, completely and utterly overwhelmed and feel like shutting down, pulling the covers over your head (maybe bringing a bottle of scotch for company.)

Or for those that remember that the further down you go in the well, the more narrow your view is of the sky.

This is just an assurance that what you are feeling is entirely natural and pretty darned common.  Most folks either have felt, are feeling, or will feel some time in the future what you are feeling now.  

This is also a reminder that we all need to take a break now and then and just BREATHE (figuratively and literally.)  

Into The Woods :: Break Room (Swine Flu Respite)
Take a minute to decompress, in whatever way is most effective for you.  Get (or give) a hug.  Smile.  Look up at the sky, feel the breeze on your face and think of the beauty all around you and the good and caring people who you have in your life.

When you return to the fray, your sight will be more clear, your hand more steady, and your mind will be more ready for the task at hand.

Step I:  The literal breathing thing.

You need to learn to breath.  I am absolutely serious.  Since we come out of the womb pretty much ready to do this with the first slap, you'd think we would know how to do this.  

Au contraire mon ami!  

The mere act of affirmatively telling your body to breathe a certain way helps break the automatic and sometimes counterproductive stress mechanisms of our body as well as our mind.

Your system reacts to mental stress almost as if it is physical danger, yet the body has no equivalent physical outlet to burn off the energy.  That can be harmful to both your physical and your mental capabilities.

So the first task is to incorporate "tactical breathing" into your life. There are a ton of different sources for and names of this approach, but folks who are recognized experts on some of the most intense stress imaginable describe the techinique this way:

One major way to combat stress and its negative effects is through tactical breathing. The authors describe that there are only two autonomic nervous system actions you can consciously control; breathing and blinking. Of the two, controlling your breathing will be of great benefit during a stressful situation. You can decrease your heart rate by practicing tactical breathing. The breaths should be deep 'belly breaths', that is, during inhaling, your stomach expands like a balloon. Each step is done while mentally counting to four. The four simple steps to this breathing are:

In through the nose, two, three, four.

Hold two, three, four.

Out through the lips two, three, four.

Hold two, three, four.

This tactical breathing sequence is most effective when repeated at least four times.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O...

Ok.  Go ahead.  Breathe.

Step II.  The Figurative Breath

The figurative breathing excercise is very individual specific.

But for starters, here's a couple of suggestions:

Listen to some poetry: At Poetry Everywhere
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/poetry...

A couple of my favorites:

The Lanyard
by Billy Collins

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/poetry...

One Boy Told Me
by Naomi Shihab Nye

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/poetry...

There are unlimited ways of taking a break.
And taking a break beats getting broken.

So take one now and again.

Also, feel free to share how you feel.  Here or with someone else you trust.

Get regular excercise.

Look for humor where you can.

Keep (or get) a regular sleep cycle.

Avoid (limit) harmful habits that can mask stress or even make it worse.

Take care of yourself....

For the same reason the flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first - because you have to be fully functional to help yourself before you can help others.  

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Thanks
Thank you, ITW.  It's good to "hear" your voice again.

Good to be heard.
Glad you are all still here doing the heavy lifting.  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
three-legged pig

A man stops to ask directions from a farmer sitting on his porch and is amazed to see a three-legged pig sitting at the farmer's feet. "That's a weird-looking pig," the man says. The farmer is furious. "Don't you ever say anything bad about this pig!" he says. "Just last week my wife and I were sleeping, and a fire broke out. This pig dragged us both to safety. Last month a robber broke into the house. The pig knocked him down, dialed 911 with his snout and sat on him until the police arrived. So don't ever say anything bad about him."

"I'm sorry," the man says. "But what's the deal with the three legs?"

"Mister," the farmer says, "a pig like this you don't eat all at once."

To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.


Extra Points for Swine Humor nt


ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
When the going gets tough
the tough eat chocolate.

Do you have enough stockpiled?



All 'safety concerns' are hypothetical.  If not, they'd be called side effects...


Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Stress wouldn't be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered.

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

More here:

http://recipes.chef2chef.net/r...  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
Confucius say: when going gets tough,
consider something erotic.

I've been looking for the appropriate thread....
Did swine flu originate in the UK?

What would it take for a virus to have bird, human and pig elements?

Some wild and crazy demented sex?  

I present to you a three year old photo with the proof that swine flew was created in the uk.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new...

(Don't click on the link if you are American and have delicate American sensibilities.  This is a british news story, censored appropriately for the English, not so much for the Americans.)


Just rolling along, making waves and causing trouble...


[ Parent ]
'slow crushing dance with a pig for one at a time'.
My oh my.  

This little lady has some serious, serious issues.  

Yow.  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
Omygoodness!
She's homosexual !!!?

[ Parent ]
ssal---
That should read: hog-o-sexual!!

[ Parent ]
No. From the Photo I'd Guess Bi. Thats Bi-speciesal.
But enough of this frivolity.  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
Did you catch the Swan in the Bed too?
The photo is classic!

We have a naked lady, naked pig, and a swan all in bed together.  

I am dying to figure out a way to get it republished elsewhere.


Just rolling along, making waves and causing trouble...


[ Parent ]
Great (flu) names for rock groups! (sick humor to follow, sorry)
I hope my type of sick humor doesn't offend--I apologize in advance--but I was trying to sleep last night, and this was a product of my sick, (literally and figuratively) mind:

Cytokine Storm (a heavy-metal band)
The Virus
Mutation
Pandemic
Species Jump
The Clucks (Punk rock group)
H2H
The Masks
One Flu Away

I'm trying to keep a sense of humor nowadays, or else I will be too worried about things. Sick humor is how I deal with serious stress.



I love demented, sick humor
after all, I am a nurse. Keeps us sane, it does.

Pandemic Menu

Start your dining extravaganza with an aperitif of reconstituted dried coffee and powdered milk with a liberal dash of BBRWSFPK.

Savor the flavors of lightly battered Spam with a side of Instant Mashed potatoes and peas with canned butter.

Enrich your senses with our Monday dessert special: dry storage cookies sprinkled with brandy.

Enjoy!


It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.


[ Parent ]
Excellant WhiteSwan! n/t


United we stand: Divided we fall
www.flunewsnetwork.com


[ Parent ]
Gosh, it's good to see all these old friends!


It's great to see so many old friends..
...although not under better than perfect circumstances. We'd planned on having a nice big, catered reunion with a wide open bar featuring BBRWFK and Melanie's WWFK, but things just sort of got out of hand here...

WELCOME BACK!!


We can plan our party now!
..but no bean dips, thanks

It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.

[ Parent ]
No beans? Then how's 'bout some nice rice pudding? LOL!! N/T


[ Parent ]
I'll Be Toasting You All With a Fine Single Malt
as soon as I get home from the office.  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


Hello All- great to see so many old friends still here.......
..... And new ones to meet.
Wish it were under better circumstances. Been checking in but not posting in ages- took 2 weeks off with no access to my radar screens and look what happened- it's always the way.
Glad you all are here, there couldn't be a better group to weather this with.

I love you guys! n/t


Break Room - Swine Flu Haiku
Swine Flu Haiku

Oh happy chicken
Avian flu a threat no more
Now it's the pig's turn

April moon so bright
illuminate our clinic's
sampling protocols

New green willow tree
most flexible and fluid - - like
swine flu response plans


I love the haiku!!! n/t


[ Parent ]
How to Avoid the Flu
How to Avoid the Flu

Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies. Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Walk for at least hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around. Wear a mask when out in public places and avoid going out in public as much as possible while the swine flu is spreading. Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible. Get plenty of rest. Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

OR .... You can take the doctor's office approach. Think about it, when you go for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol.. Why? Because alcohol kills germs. So...... I put on my mask, walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up flu germs can't get in!

It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.


is it inappropriate
to say that those who have taken this seriously and prepped may shortly be "living high on the hog"???  

...or may at least have the preps to pig-out...


Only if they say it in Pig
Latin.

Allway ethay ittlelay epperspray illway ebay ivinglay ighhay
onway ethay oghay.

Courtesy: English to Pig Latin Translator
http://users.snowcrest.net/don...

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
That was fowl, just fowl I say...


It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.

[ Parent ]
Foghorn, that you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
...scratch...scratch..no, just us TVP over here...


It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.

[ Parent ]
I have plenty of DAK ham n/t


To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.

[ Parent ]
Keep if for when all ham breaks loose! ;-) n/t


[ Parent ]
Questions for afterward
-Where do we order the T shirts?
-When and where is the great Flu Wiki pig roast?

-Oh, and, uh.....

H5N1 is still out there, isn't it?


Haha, thanks for
reminding us! LOL

United we stand: Divided we fall
www.flunewsnetwork.com


[ Parent ]
What would you get if you crossed a pig with a chicken?
(I don't have an answer, but I feel confident one or more of our contributors could come up with something pretty good. Especially if someone offered a beer for first prize.)

 


[ Parent ]
DINNER!!!!!!!!!


It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.

[ Parent ]
Cross a Chicken and a Pig = Committed Involvement?
A pig and a chicken are walking down a road. The chicken looks at the pig and says, "Hey, why don't we open a restaurant?" The pig looks back at the chicken and says, "Good idea, what do you want to call it?" The chicken thinks about it and says, "Why don't we call it 'Ham and Eggs'?" "I don't think so," says the pig, "I'd be committed, but you'd only be involved."



ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
very nice n/t


To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.

[ Parent ]
Michael Moore n/t


To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.

[ Parent ]
pig x chicken=
Picken!

"that Picken was linger ficking good!"  

KEEP THE GRID UP!
Prudent People Prepare Properly

"better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it!"


[ Parent ]
A dead chicken. n/t


[ Parent ]
Laugh
Just had a major disagrement with some real class A bureaucrats.

I noticed that our hospital canteen toilet was a little 'fragrent'.  So I spoke to the canteen supervisor and she said she'd get in touch with the cleaners.

Low and behold 48 hrs later she tagged me and said 'they say they can't do anything about it'  I said 'nothing?' she said 'yeah'.

So I emailed the facilities management and they said they can't use air freshener in case it causes someone to have an asthma attack, and they can't put sanitary blocks in the urinals in case someone eats them!

What planet do these guys reside on?

 Man occasionally stumbles over the truth.  Most of the time though, he manages to pick himself up and carry on as if nothing had happened.

Winston S Churchill


JK


eat them?
In the Navy, we jokingly referred to them as Marine breath mints.  Never heard of anyone actually eating them.

To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.

[ Parent ]
More swine flu haiku!
I'm not a poet, and I know it!

Sick swine cause fear now
Made many more trips to Sam's Club since
Wear out credit cards

N100 better than N95
Not sure if true, worry much
Dang it all, buy any

Watch shoppers stampede
Must buy X-Box games for kids
I stock up on candy


Another dose!
Fight in warehouse club
Fat lady takes last box doughnuts
Much pulled out hair

Buy surgical gowns
Not sure I like them at all
My butt look fat? Yes?


[ Parent ]
You're getting sick of this now, I'm sure! :-)
Some more flu preps haiku:

Toilet paper gone
I waited too long to buy
See if corn cobs work

Must have chocolate
Do not deny PMS woman
Things will get very ugly

Forgot to buy meat
Must have canned meat for preps
Does cat taste real good?

Store has sale on candy
Should buy many crates for preps
To shut danged kids up



[ Parent ]
not quitting my day job........
My family all think that I'm nuts,
(Hmm, buy more nuts at Walmart)
they call me that crazy old putz,
but what do they know
for I've packed in the (bread) dough
for life down the road in old huts.



It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.


[ Parent ]
Selected Haiku by Issa
Translated and read by Robert Hass, United States Poet Laureate (1995-97).

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/poetry...

Thought you might need some more inspiration.

Don' worry spiders
I keep house
Casually.

Even with insects
Some can sing
Some can't.



ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
Now its the Pandemic Virus That Says "NI". Where's that shrubbery? (Thanks again to Monty Python)
Just got an announcement that our state had changed its references from the Human Swine Flu to

this new H1N1 novel influenza (formerly known as swine flu)

So then.  Just so I get this right.

Its going to be called H1N1 NI.

I knew I should have added that shrubbery to my preps.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


Ni! Ni! Ni!
You must bring us a shrubbery!

I love your comment! I forgot about the Knights who say "Ni"!


[ Parent ]
But they can't work in the IT dept. n/t


To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.

[ Parent ]
....: ^ )) nt


ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
Don't Say The Word !!!!!! N/T
Coconuts anyone?

[ Parent ]
How can I not say it
if you don't tell me what it is?

To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.

[ Parent ]
Yet more haiku
A cleansing spring rain?
No thanks, I prefer a large
bottle of Purell.

A hundred bees at
a single blossom - like the
press with  flu update.


And now it all makes sense!!!
And now it all makes sense!!

Caption Contest
How can I miss you when you won't go away?


ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
Savin' all my boogers for you...
sung to the same tune as "savin'all my love for you..."

(Humor aside, this is a great photo.)


[ Parent ]
Tiny Boogers In the Swine. (Forgive me Don Ho)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

Make me happy.

Makes me feel fine.

Tiny Boogers make me warm all over

With a feeling that I'm gonna love ya till the end of time.

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


[ Parent ]
Toad licking just doesn't cut it anymore. n/t


To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.

[ Parent ]
I made the mistake of telling him
children didn't have to go to school if they caught swine flu.

[ Parent ]
Percy knew there was a danger of picking up a nasty disease
but he just couldn't resist the blond.

[ Parent ]
I said "pick a big rose" n/t


[ Parent ]
Dirty, disease ridden creatures should be locked up
or at the very least kept away from the pigs.

[ Parent ]
Thanks - I knew
I could rely on you lot to give me a good laugh!

Just decided to look up the definition(s) of novel and found the following:

I guess this is the one they (the officials) want us to use for this virus:

Strikingly new, unusual, or different

but I prefer this one - much more scope

A fictional prose narrative of considerable length, typically having a plot that is unfolded by the actions, speech, and thoughts of the characters

Eat pudding first - who know's what might happen next! - Anon


Silly me
Novel is actually an acronym (here we go team)

NOVEL = no ordinary virus eh love!

Eat pudding first - who know's what might happen next! - Anon


[ Parent ]
Just got this text message
It reads:

I tried to phone the swine flu hotline but it was no good - I just got crackling.

Eat pudding first - who know's what might happen next! - Anon


I tried it and it worked fine, the friend was telling porkies
LOL

[ Parent ]
For those that don't know
porkies - rhyming slang - porky pies - lies.

[ Parent ]
Dr. Uncle Frank speaks!!!
This doctor has it going on!!!  Listen to him. You may still get the flu, but you'll laugh all the way to the emergency room!!!!!!

http://www.veoh.com/collection...


xkcd: Duty Calls - Someone is Wrong On the Internet
Too funny.  Too true.  

http://xkcd.com/386/  

ITW(Joel J)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
 


Swine flu inspires online games
Six swine flu games:

Swinefighter

www.swinefighter.com

Swine Flu: Hamdemic

http://www.fizzy.com/games/swi...

Aporkalypse Now!

http://www.mousebreaker.com/ga...

Pandemic 2

http://www.crazymonkeygames.co...

Sneeze

http://www.routesgame.com/game...

Killer Flu

http://www.clinical-virology.o...  


Too big for the news diary
regarding the discussion of engineers.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one The word "engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth.

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST

You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked You

A Straighten it
B Ignore it
C Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron

The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing"

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:

*Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
*Important social contacts
*A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions:

*Get it over with as soon as possible
*Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant
*Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories:

(1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it into a stun gun.

No engineer can take a shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering unnecessary.

To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied.

If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house.

While it's true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineerlike children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates
* MacGyver
* Etcetera

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's a warm day.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below

"I won't change anything without asking you first."
"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."
"I have to have new equipment to do my job."
"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal (i.e. cheap). This is not because of cheapness or mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while retaining the greatest amount of cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she snaps out of it.

RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS

* Hindenberg
* Space Shuttle Challenger
* SPANet(tm)
* Hubble space telescope
* Apollo 13
* Titanic
* Ford Pinto
* Corvair

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for reasons that are far too complicated to explain. If that approach is not sufficient to halt the project, then the engineer will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible but it will cost too much."

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are
* How many cool devices they own

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve difficult technical problems."

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.

To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.


Infected With Flu
Thanks Robert Palmer, I only had to change a little.

Infected With Flu (to the tune of Addicted to Love)

Your fever's on, you're going home
Your mind is not your own
Your brow sweats, your body aches
A virus is all it takes
You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Some Tamiflu is what you need

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you'll have it rough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're infected with flu

You see the signs,  you didn't heed
You're runnin' scared, Oh why me!
Your heart beats in double time
A virus has brought you low, oh so low
You can't be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there's some Tamiflu
You don't mind if you do

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you've got it rough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're infected with flu
Might as well face it, you're infected with flu
Might as well face it, you're infected with flu
Might as well face it, you're infected with flu
Might as well face it, you're infected with flu
Might as well face it, you're infected with flu

To calm the wife buy cases of chocolate, to calm the husband buy cases of booze, and to calm the children...... heck the booze and chocolate should work.


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